Even before the boys were born, I started making a list in my phone about how friends, relatives, and even acquaintances had blessed us during our twin pregnancy. I often wondered was it that they’re twins? Was it just the timing, read: Covid? Was it that they assumed we would struggle? or was it just out of love that so many people (our village so to speak) blessed us in so many ways? As I was constantly trying to figure out what we did to deserve all of the love, I was (and still am) so in shock about how so many people blessed us during the pregnancy, birth, and in those first weeks home that I knew for a long time now that I’d want to write about it.
The entire pregnancy was quiet and tame, and we didn’t get to celebrate how we “thought” we “should” be able to celebrate because of the pandemic. I felt since so many family members and friends didn’t even see me pregnant (and boy, was I pregnant!), they felt out of touch and out of the loop. However, when I think back at the last four months, I’m in awe of the people we have in our lives who have showed up using their unique talents and hearts to help celebrate us in ways we needed it most.
If you’re looking for ways to bless someone who has had a life change: baby (or 2!), a loss, new marriage, new town, new job, or in the thick of healing from something physical or emotional, I hope one of these ideas sparks something in your heart to do for that person in your life.
Meal train- About a month+ before the boys were born, a friend from church texted and asked if she could please set up a meal train. She asked for an email list, an appropriate time frame for drop off (we chose 5:45-6:30PM), frequency (we chose every other night-every night was TOO much!), likes/dislikes/allergies, and favorite local places. We also agreed that we would only accept prepackaged or take-out because of Covid and to ensure we knew where meals were prepared. She had everything set up for us. And you know what? It was wonderful. We had meals or GrubHub/Door Dash gift cards delivered about three times per week for six weeks. And any questions about the food? Texts were sent to my husband, so I wasn’t caught up in conversations….because if we’re honest, there’s already a million text conversations happening at once when you have a new baby!
Balloons/yard sign/etc.- I have a friend who owns her own balloon company, Hip Hip Hooray Creative Events. She managed to find out when we were headed home from the hospital and had our mailbox decorated to welcome the boys! What a surprise! It not only was so fun to see each time I opened my door the first few days we were home, but it also allowed our neighbors to be aware of our family’s newest additions. We still have neighbors drive by, and calling the boys by name, ask how they are; and I know it is from the balloons that day. And what a gift to have your neighbors check-in on you? Right?
Night shift- Ok, this act of kindness is not for everyone. My husband’s step mother came over and stayed three nights the week we were first home with the boys. She would come around 9PM (so our daughter was asleep), and she would stay until about 7AM. Feeding twins in the newborn stage is HARD. There is no sleep. I mean really no sleep. Let’s be clear. And add that to recovering from birth and entertaining a preschooler all day…that first week was a blur.
Watching older sibling- This is such a needed gift, but when you’re bringing home another baby, it is also a painful gift. Why? Because as you’re trying to get to know your new baby/babies, you’re aching for your first born, and you see everyone getting to have fun with your OG. My suggestion? Come and entertain the older sibling at the house, so mom doesn’t feel disconnected (as if you were out on a grand adventure without her!), but in a different room. Now, as I type these words, I will also say that a few weeks before the boys were born, my sister and brother in law, traveled to see us and had TWO DAYS of activities planned for my daughter, so I could “try” to get some things done around the house in preparation for the boys OR “try” to rest. Ha. That didn’t happen, but I did attempt the rest part…*wink*. They visited the Science Center, Barnes and Noble, Build a Bear Workshop, lunch, swimming, and even the pet store (that’s a story for another day…). I felt so encouraged that week, because I knew my daughter was making great memories with her aunt and uncle and my mom guilt of not being very “fun” to be around (swollen, tired, etc.) didn’t exist those two days.
Homemade meal/specialty item- I mentioned earlier we opted for only prepackaged or take-out food for our meal train. We did have two families that blessed us with something so special to them though. I have an Italian mama friend who sent over her homemade sauce, some ravioli, cheese, and bread…we actually ate this the first night we were home from the hospital! I will always remember how special that meal was. Italian friends are legit. We also have a family member who lives on a farm. They brought over salad, baked potatoes, and a roast chicken ALL from their farm. It was delicious and humbling!
Gifts for older sibling- This is something I have learned along the way of being a mom. When another baby is coming into the family, or if mom and dad are struggling in a way, bring something for the sibling/children. It doesn’t have to be big-a lollipop, trinket, or small game is enough. You would also get bonus points if the gift is something the child can do independently! I think back to friends who had their second babies before me, and I wish I would have been aware of how much this means to the parents.
Shower- The pandemic made baby showers (and most celebrations) very difficult. My mom group and our community group at church both threw us surprise showers. One was outside with a big group of kids and mamas, and the other was just the women of our community group (6 total including me) at our house. These women just showed up with snacks and gifts, and it was perfect.
Flowers- If you follow me on IG, I’m not quiet about my love of flowers! Friends dropped off blooms from the farmer’s market, grocery store, and yes, some from a florist. They were all lovely, and I got to add some flowers in vases all over my house.
Coffee delivery- Text a mama. Ask her order. Bring the coffee. Don’t say, “Would you like Starbucks?” Because guess what? She will tell you, “No”. Instead, try saying, “I’m bringing coffee. What do you want?” OR be sneaky and already know what she likes to order. MOST people have a standard/regular thing they like to order.
Local goods drop off- One morning I took our pup outside and there was a package of strawberries on the porch. Just dropped off from a friend who had just been strawberry-picking (it’s been strawberry season here). It was so heart-warming to know she thought about us and made the trip to our front door.
Basket of goodies- Yes, right when a baby or “event” happens is a good time for a basket of goodies. But do you know what’s even better? A basket of goodies about six weeks afterwards. Why? Because reality has set in at that point, and we all need encouragement. I received the sweetest (and prettiest!) basket of goodies one morning from a group of mama friends. I will need to write an individual post about this gift as each item placed in the basket was so, so thoughtful.
Fancy frozen meals- I’m not a fan of frozen meals. I didn’t make and freeze meals before either pregnancy as everyone says to. I just don’t like freezing/thawing/worrying about bacteria/etc. I know. I’m weird. (Unless it’s a chicken pot pie. I can always go for those!) BUT. My mother in law ordered some fancy frozen meals from Neiman Marcus (I know, extra fancy, right?). One package was an assortment of breads. You know what is lovely after a baby? Bread. We snacked on this for weeks with butter or dipped in olive oil. Two thumbs up.
Prayers- We really had so many people genuinely praying for us. You know some people throw out a “praying for you!”, and maybe they do, and maybe they just say it, but when you have people in your life that YOU KNOW are actually intentionally praying for you and your family, it’s the greatest gift ever. There is an older woman from church who I think I’ve only met in person maybe once. She texts me about every month to check-in and ask how she can pray for my family. Wow. Are your eyes getting teary-eyed like mine? This woman has devoted her time to adding MY FAMILY to her prayers. This is the type of friends and women we should all aspire to be.
Edit: As I was typing this post, this wonderful woman texted to check in. Her ears must have burning as my fingers typed.
There are so many other things you can do to show love and celebrate those people in your lives! These were just some ways that really meant a lot to me in this season. It is a great feeling when you can FEEL that someone has done something for you out of love and not obligation. Has someone blessed you in a new season of life in a special way? Please share! I love to hear new ideas and ways to #payitforward.
